Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Journey of Faith


This blog entry is long overdue. I’ve been meaning to write about the testimony I gave at church before I left the Philippines in July of this year.

As I was waiting at the Australian Embassy, eagerly and nervously anticipating the result of my interview for our visa application I constantly prayed to the Lord that if my visa will be granted then it will truly be a testimony of God’s grace and faithfulness.

You see, I’m not most Filipinos who are so eager to leave the country in search of greener pastures elsewhere. I actually didn’t want to migrate, I only want to travel the world on vacation. So I wasn’t the kind of person who would exert so much effort just to live abroad. But since most of my relatives are in Australia I knew I was bound to go someday. When my mom and sister both got married to Australian citizens they decided to move down under and I knew that I had to make a decision. I asked the Lord where He wants me to go, if He wants me to stay then I would not get a visa but if Australia is the land where He is sending me and where He will bless me then I will be granted that visa effortlessly.

I have been so scared to be left alone in the Philippines. For months I’ve cried out to God because of fear that I will be financially unstable, an orphan, single and literally be living alone in my house. I carried with me the burden of worry and fear from other people feeding me negative thoughts like how impossible it is for me to be granted a dependent visa because of my age. But this season of waiting on the Lord has taught me what it really means to wait confidently with unwavering trust and what it really means to pray without ceasing. This experience has humbled me and brought me to my knees. I said to God that I know it will only take a miracle for my visa to be granted given my circumstances. And once again He demonstrated His awesome power that He is the God of all possibilities because a miracle He did give me and my family.

I grew up in a Christian family, raised with solid Christian values (I’ve even attended all the youth camps throughout my teenage years). But that doesn’t make me the perfect little Christian, far from it actually. I have stumbled and fallen so many times. I’ve had strings of broken and ungodly relationships, things I’ve done in the past that I’m not proud of and skeletons I’m hiding in my closet. I’ve broken God’s heart over and over and over again. Thankfully, He has always remained faithful, even when I haven’t. My walk with the Lord has been a journey of faith. I know that God has a purpose and a wonderful plan with everything happening in my life, even in the worst situations and in the midst of my seemingly impossible problems.

In the past couple of years, I never really understood why I had to go through the torture of painful loss and heartache. Why I remain single in spite of my constant dating, while my friends and cousins are getting married left and right. Why I only keep meeting “Mr. Right Now” and not the one who will stay for the rest of my life. But, now I realize why…

I am going to Australia because I am unemployed, childless, never been engaged or married and SINGLE at 27! You would think that my situation seemed bleak and unappealing but that’s exactly the reason why I was given such an amazing privilege to start a new life in a country of boundless opportunities. If I was married or in a relationship or was engaged in the past or have a child then I would’ve been left behind. My life is a perfect example of how God can turn something less than desirable into a blessing! I didn’t even exert so much effort, this opportunity just fell into my lap without me orchestrating it, all I did was pray.

I never even planned or dreamed that I would be moving to Australia this year. In fact, my family was supposed to be the last to migrate. There were two families and one cousin supposedly before us, then my sister, then she would get my mom and then me. In my relatives’ plans, I was literally the last person on their list, which means I would have to wait a minimum of 4 or 5 years, but I only waited 3 months! It just really shows how our ways as humans are not and will never ever be God’s ways. His way is perfect and beyond awesome!

This was the verse in my devotion the night before our interview at the embassy (it wasn’t really the devotion for that day but as I was flipping through the pages it caught my attention):

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

I only noticed the morning I was writing this testimony that the date for that particular devotion entitled “Confident Hope” is July 11… our departure date.

It’s just truly, truly amazing how God perfectly works out his plans in our lives if we just trust in Him and allow Him to be the Sovereign Lord that He is. My walk with the Lord has been and is still is a journey of faith, preparing and equipping me to face another chapter in my life as I continue to grow and mature. I know that the life waiting for me down under is going to be even tougher but I believe and know in my heart that He is sending me to a place where He promised to bless me even more.